I. Am.Not. Into. You
For better or worse, part of being a woman means dealing with sexual advances from men, unwanted or otherwise. Depending on the situation, it can sometimes be a challenge to rebuke those advances. Here are some tips to help you say, no thanks.
1. Be clear
If you are not interested, be very clear with him. Sometimes we get the feeling that we are being mean if we say no, so we tend to say things like, ‘maybe some other time,’ or ‘I’ll check my schedule, or ‘we’ll see.’ Leaving things open-ended is not helpful to you or him. If it’s a no be clear with that and make sure he understands you are not interested.
2. Don’t be harsh or rude
There is a quote by Margaret Atwood that says “Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them” It’s sad but true, we live in a world where as women we are constantly in danger of violence from men. Despite the fact that rejection is a part of life, you never know how a man will react. Even though there’s no excuse for violent or inappropriate behaviour, best not to test it. It’s sad that as women we have to police our behaviour in response to bad behaviour from men but until things change, it’s best to be safe.
3. Use your network
Sometimes as clear as you are, men just don’t get it. This is an instance where a third party can be of help. If you have mutual friends ask one of them to speak to him on your behalf. If it hasn’t clicked when you’ve rejected him, perhaps it will when another person confirms it to him.
Rejection is hard, both when receiving and giving. It doesn’t have to be painful or traumatic either, just rip off the Band-Aid, girl.