He cut my thighs with a machete and I still can’t leave him.
She didn’t start the story like that though, she started by telling me how charming he actually is. “Vanessa you don’t understand, this man does something to me, one minute he is so romantic and then the next thing he beats me up because of his insecurities”. At first I continued with the conversation casually until I realized that she actually meant he beats her up. “Wait, what, he beats you?” I asked. She silently nodded, giggled and also had tears at the same time, how could a woman display so much emotion in such a short time? I didn’t have to ask her anymore, she described her memories with her lover.
Here’s her story:
When I first met him, he was very charming, funny and a people person. I thought he was so generous and I just loved that he made me laugh, we would go out together and he asked me to be his girlfriend in no time. We spent a lot of time together, with his friends, with my friends and at his place. I noticed he was controlling but I thought his level of possessive nature was cute. He would block guys on my IG, guys who would talk to me on my DMs and broke my phones a couple of times when he was upset.
I started acting the way he wanted me to act. If he asked me to change my outfit I would and when we went out and he didn’t want me to talk to anyone he would simply give me a harsh look and I would sit down. The first time he hit me was when I confronted him about a girl he was hitting on in the club. I got mad at him so I just talked to my male friends, he came to me and he said goodbye to everyone and said he was feeling tired, it was time to go home.
While we were in the car he kept shouting and asking what I was trying to do to him. Before I knew it, he had slapped me hard on my left cheek and before I could do anything he had punched my eye, he literally burst my eye. He stopped at the Langata bypass and removed a machete from his car and ended up hitting my thighs with it, I got bad scratches from it.
Immediately he was done, he seemed to snap out of it and realized what he had done, he started apologizing then used his first aid kit on my eye. I went to the hospital two days later and in front of the doctor he said he would never do it again. I needed three stitches and obviously had a bad black eye. I don’t know why I never left at that point.
I took the worst from him and ever since I have noticed a certain pattern. Every time I say something to him he gets upset and he slaps me or punches me. I have established that he is a violent man, however every time he says that I am the one who makes him mad and it’s because he loves me. I cook and clean for him and basically do what he wants.
When he is really nice he takes me out on dates, we have a good time until he is mad again. My question is, what should I do? Does this man love me but can’t stop being violent or doesn’t he respect me? I am confused because I love him so much.
Personally I advised her to leave before she’s found dead somewhere. Murderers or potential murderers don’t walk around with a banner on their forehead written murderer. This man has a hold on her in such a manipulative way but men actually devalue you when they realize you will keep compromising your dignity and self-worth. What would you advise?
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