So no, this is not going to be about looking fabulous because that usually comes without saying. This is about making the most out of your single years without having to feel like you are missing out.
Being a single girl in Nairobi can often be construed as boredom, loneliness, and desperation, but in reality, Singleness is far from it. Single life is self discovery without suffocation or dependence. The years or months you spend alone determine whether or not you are acing life, and there are some lessons we learn from being an independent woman.
1. Learn how to relax.
Your singledom will not last a lifetime. The worst thing you can do is panic and think you have to find someone immediately or your life is over. This air of desperation is by far the most debilitating energy to bring into a new relationship with yourself or with anyone new. It makes you blind to obvious red flags and puts you in all kinds of compromising situations.
2. Stay clean and sober.
Forget about coming home or staying home plastered, stoned or disconnected — not a good recipe for a successful relationship with yourself or anyone else. This is a sobering experience but trust it will start to grow on you if you give it a try.
3. Give yourself a chance.
Being happy alone does not happen overnight, especially if you are a recovering codependent. There will be times that you feel like you’re invisible, no one will ever love you, you’re wasting your life, and a whole lot of negative self-talk. The best thing to do is to take yourself for a walk or on a date with yourself.
4. Study something new.
Wow, what a perfect time in your life to go to night school or study online or completely change career tracks! Figure out what you are passionate about and go for it. There is no one to hold you back but yourself.
5. Hit the gym.
What a great way to get to know yourself again. Start with reconnecting with your body. It’s the only one you have this lifetime and we often look after our cars (which we can trade in) better than our bodies. Singledom is the perfect time to get yourself in shape and the endorphins released when you work out keep your spirits flying high.
6. Rediscover your creativity.
We all have the ability to create magnificence. You may have temporarily forgotten what you came here to create, but if you spend enough time alone you will rediscover your creative self. What a perfect opportunity to play when no one is watching. So take out those pencils, paints, clay, inventions, designs and let loose.
7. Be grateful for what you already have.
Each night before you go to sleep, concentrate on what you are grateful for in your life. Every little thing can help create the spirit of gratitude. If you are so inclined, start to write a journal about everything you are grateful for and watch the list get bigger each day as your gratitude attracts more things to be grateful for.