Heartbreak hurts more because of building castles in the air!
A woman’s break up is usually so intense because you’re not only breaking up with him in real time but you have to demolish all the dreams you had of you and him, from bearing his last name to him being the father of your unborn kids to the house you were going to live in together. Most of us have been guilty of doing this with at least one guy, the one who stole your heart. Although, It’s time to stop that behaviour and start learning to let the flow of life take its course.
Begin to focus on discovering the following about the man who could be your future baba nani.
Learn his character
So his personality might be all that and a bag of chips but his character is what defines who he really is. These qualities that he possesses are what should be the basis of whether his the type of person you would want to be with.
Is he the type that will check up on you when you’re together or even across the day when he’s not around you, is he the type that will buy you digestives because he knows you prefer it with your coffee, is he the type that will talk positively about women and will also be in support of what you choose to do to help change the narrative of how women are perceived.
All this are various ways to see the honesty, virtue and kindness of his character that will come across in how he speaks and how he behaves both around you, with those who know you and also with strangers. This will be a great determinant of whether he would be someone you would be happy to share a couple of forevers with.
Learn what drives him
The focus should never be on what he drives but rather on what drives him. The two most important things that both women and men should obtain is ambition and drive, if neither exists then you start to feel like you have no reason to live. So if the man your dating has no sense of direction, no drive to want to be better and do better, lacks ambition in wanting to achieve great things both in the now or in the near future. Then you need to question what your future will end up looking like.
In essence, the person you end up with should be one who challenges you as much as you challenge them, they will lead you into wanting to be an even better version of you than you ever imagined possible and together you actually make an even stronger team.
Learn about his family
To know who he is and why he acts a certain way, it is important to know about his family dynamics. Learn whether they get along because this will often determine how he ends up connecting with your family. It is also a chance for you to see whether its a family you would want to be a part of and even whether you easily fit in with them.
Does he have respect for his mum and dad? is he close with his siblings? Do they have family gatherings and come together to support each other? All this will also help form an idea of how it would be like to have a family with him and even whether he is, in fact, someone you would want to have a family with.
Only when you have learnt enough about him and have actually even gotten married, should you then begin to build the castles in the air but let your relationship be more about what you’re doing currently to make your vision come true.